That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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