I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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