what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
