Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
