Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
