I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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