32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I will be naked everywhere
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize