she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize