Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
