But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
