is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
