Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
