soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
