so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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