Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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