You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
