I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
