umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You pole danced in your parka.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
