Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
