Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
