Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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