my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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