so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
