We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Two words: nipple clamps
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