"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
