I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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