Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
