he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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