I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
