Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
