I am in a vortex of obligation.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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