His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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