..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
