hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
