Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
