You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
