That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize