My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would ride that face into the sunset
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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