Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize