scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize