Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I stole a fireplace last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
