Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My ass is underappreciated
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
