There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
