When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Houston, we have a blender
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
