Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
