Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
