You're my little dorito
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
