No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
