Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i drank out of a bidet.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
