I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
