you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
