seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
