Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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