I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
