i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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