were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
