Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
