Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My cat gives me a boner
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
