He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize