you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
