FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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