dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
