Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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