Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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