She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my poor anus
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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