In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
