So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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