We tried having a conversation with our noses.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
